Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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