my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
