I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
