eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ugly people sure do ruin things
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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