my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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