She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
