I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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