Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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