i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
