fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
