i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize