My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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