Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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