The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So much rum. So many feels.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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