Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
