"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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