Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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