It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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