yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
