The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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