She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
