That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
