Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
