are you still at the devil's house?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
