you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
