It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
