I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
