"it" just moved
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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