Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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