i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize