If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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