do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
