wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Randomize
