you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Come share oat with me in your robe
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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