Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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