If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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