I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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