I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
