Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"

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  (773): Oh just a soda. I'm "driving" http://tfl.nu/spob
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?

  (212): View more from New York

  Vagina

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  (917): Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type? (212): Vagina http://tfl.nu/du5r
  Replies (9) Good night (2447) Bad night (755)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (637) Bad night (3392)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are

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  (805): Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are http://tfl.nu/ste8
  Replies (16) Good night (6690) Bad night (850)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

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  (804): you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/f3jq
  Replies (33) Good night (9864) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing

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  (302): Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing http://tfl.nu/ldmu
  Replies (16) Good night (1181) Bad night (4438)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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  (406): He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night http://tfl.nu/scut
  Replies (7) Good night (3765) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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  (319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl
  Replies (13) Good night (3214) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.

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  (314): Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes. http://tfl.nu/vcgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1588) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive

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  (306): I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive http://tfl.nu/z4k9
  Replies (6) Good night (2947) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.

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  (+45): The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm. http://tfl.nu/ztnf
  Replies (2) Good night (2861) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"

  (239): View more from Florida

  I am the fairy godmother of the drink.

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  (724): I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED" (239): I am the fairy godmother of the drink. http://tfl.nu/ryur
  Replies (3) Good night (2365) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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  (262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

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  (516): Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji? http://tfl.nu/gce4
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (731)

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