I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.