Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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(303): View more from Colorado

why im i the only drunk person in the library?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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(512): View more from Texas

dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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(614): View more from Ohio

im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.

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