Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet