My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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