sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
