Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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