she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
