You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
