I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize