Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
