i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
