Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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