can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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