I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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