nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
