New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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