I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
