you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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