before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
