We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
