And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
