At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I know her cup size but not her name....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
