I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize