I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
