How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
