my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.