i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.