Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Randomize
