Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
