her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
please come you make the beer taste better
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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