Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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