I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
