He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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