PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
