Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
