ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
