8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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